Woot Podcast Contest
If you're not familiar with woot, just go there right now. Don't worry, I'll wait. They have a tradition, every time they feature a Bluetooth-capable product, of devoting the daily podcast to new verses of the Shanty of Bluetooth The Pirate (the most fearsome buccaneer on the seven seas). You should probably hear a few of the (hilarious) Woot-produced shanties before going any further, I blogged four of them.
Now Woot is running a contest to do your own recordings of new verses. Janet wrote one, and it inspired me to do another (hers is a lot less disturbing--it's that clean-cut Midwestern-girl upbringing).
These were recorded using Woot's backing rhythm/instrumental tracks, a cheap-as-dirt cell-phone headset that came as a gimme with something else, a Radio Shack adapter to connect the headset to the mic input, and a pair of headphones that likewise came free with something else. Mixed using the open-source Audacity multitrack editor.
Janet's Shanty
Listen to the MP3Lyrics (C) 2006 Janet Wayne
Look sharp, ye lubbers! It's time for Bluetooth Karaoke, the most fearsome sound on the seven seas! That dread pirate Bluetooth was filthy and vile, His socks were mismatched and his hat out of style, His coat was unironed and covered with cigarette burns. He revelled in vice and in all depraved actions He cussed out his crew for most minor infractions Drove under the speed limit and never signalled his turns. Old Bluetooth the pirate, that scurvy old fellow, Liked snuff in his hardtack and vodka in Jell-O. But Captain, Bluetooth is nothing but a cable eliminator. For piracy, it's a non-starter! Arrr, ye scrawny bilge rat. Go woot a parrot! When Bluetooth and his crew dropped anchor in port They would all swarm ashore in search of low sport. The townspeople knew to hide all of the women and grog. They would loot and carouse in a manner abhorrent, Drink way past their limit and vomit a torrent, Then Bluetooth, the lecher, would go home and boast in his blog!
Rick's Shanty
Listen to the MP3Lyrics (C) 2006 Rick Wayne
Helm hard alee and come about smartly For Bluetooth Karaoke, the most feared sound on the seven seas! When Bluetooth bought groceries, he spat on the produce Tabsco'ed kids' diapers and fudged his Sudokus He wallowed in foulness and trailed a regrettable stench. He busted the church stained-glass windows with glee And he poked bunnies' eyes out so they'd never see In traffic court he'd kill the judge sitting there on his bench. No perversion or bawdiness was beneath him When they captured livestock like pigs he would grease 'em Captain, the only pirates who care about Bluetooth carry cell phones! Arrr, you know, matey I'm glad we had this little talk. [splash] His manner was hard and his member was harder Not one of those pigs made it into the larder Why, even his crew would dive over the rail when he'd dance His ship was a sinkhole of treason and murder He'd go way too far one day, next day go further The whole world would sigh with relief when he'd zip up his pants.